I will die if light touches me.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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