I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
