the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
