two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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