I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My pussy is not your playground.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
