I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She needs sedatives and a leash
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
