Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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