he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
