oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
