You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
