i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
