I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
