grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
