wakey wakey hands off snakey
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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