She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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