what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
