I accidentally had phone sex last night
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
