i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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