Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
zippers are such a cool invention
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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