why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
