allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I skipped work to stalk him.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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