You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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