did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
