I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
