Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
