pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I enjoy the company of your penis
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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