Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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