he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
