i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
