They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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