i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
