The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize
