Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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