Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
