i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
