i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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