I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I see more hoeing in ur future
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