He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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