we're blogging at a bar
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
