Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
