she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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