Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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