How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
