sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize