Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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