David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
