At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
