All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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