it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
