i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
